Vacationing with Adult Kids
As Travel Advisors have the opportunity to create memories. Sometimes those memories are "firsts", a couple's honeymoon, and then their first family vacations with young children. Sometimes those memories are the "lasts", the last time a family will experience time together in a vacation setting, before a family member isn't able to travel any longer and passes on. The opportunity we have to make a difference in our world is humbling sometimes.
Many times the experiences that we plan for families are the "middles". These are the ones where mom and dad have the unique opportunity to travel with their adult children. Those are the BEST, and we know this from our own personal experiences.
There is no one to dress and feed but yourself! Wow! What a relief!
There is no better way to have relaxed, but intentional conversations with your family than when on vacation. There are less distractions, no TV, video games, phone, work etc. It's a great way to reconnect and truly enjoy being together.
Thinking “that sounds great, but how do I make it happen?” Read on for some pro tips from our advisors to consider when planning you next adventure with your grown children!
Flexibility and Down Time are Important: Whether taking a cruise or staying at an all inclusive resort in the Caribbean, I like to ensure that our itinerary is flexible for everyone. Our "kids" can go out on a tour with their spouse or friend if they wish and we plan time together as a family.
Even if we separate during the day, we always have a set dining time each day to be together, recap what we may have done or experienced during the day and then plan our evening together.
And, downtime is so important, we all enjoy afternoon time to relax. I recommend taking a nap, go shopping, or reading a good book. Everyone in the family needs time to decompress and relax when on vacation.
With the perfect mix of alone time, together time and down time everyone leaves their vacation with great memories together, feeling relaxed, and rejuvenated from their time away.
Have a Family Meeting and Set Expectations: Before we start planning for a destination, we have a family meeting for everyone’s input on destinations and travel dates. My children, ages 24 and 22 usually bring a friend along on our vacation. Allowing them to bring someone gives them the flexibility to not be with parents 100% of the time and makes us feel at ease knowing they aren’t alone when exploring without us.
At the meeting we set the expectations of who will be covering which portions of the vacation so that there are no surprises along the way.
When they are with us for just a portion of the time, they seem to have more fun than being with us everyday. It’s not only the parents' vacation, but theirs as well.
Communicate Financial Obligations While Planning: No one wants to be surprised by unexpected financial obligations. My adult children vacation with my husband and I each year. We, as the parents, pay for the lodging, but then we split the cost of eating out and food preparation with all of them. It is so fun to see how creative our kids can be in treating the group to ice cream outings or pizza parties!
Determine who is paying for activities and set that expectation ahead of time. It’s also important to remind them that no one is obligated to attend every event. Everyone has flexibility to choose their own activities and level of commitment to group activities.
It is so important not to overextend our young people, but they do take pride in being able to help make the vacation an awesome memory!
Create a Welcoming Atmosphere + Freedom: My point of view is a bit different as I'm the "adult child". My mom has always done such a great job of making me feel welcome on vacation while also giving me the freedom to do things on my own.
Be aware that your adult children may have a family of their own now and could use some time away from the full group. This creates a welcoming environment without any pressure, ensuring everyone gets the most out of their vacation.
Know Expectations Prior to Leaving On Vacation: Ask yourself and your family, "What are your expectations from our vacation together?" Knowing this ahead of time can really cut back on some disappointments and even arguments. And it can also help you create some memorable experiences for your family.
For example, if dinner together each night is non negotiable for mom, make that clear from the get-go. Does someone in the family want to sleep late every morning? Are there topics of conversation that someone in the family would like to avoid?
Knowing everyone's expectations, abiding by them, and managing them well can help everyone come home with positive and happy memories.
Bottom line....Relax and have fun! Get to know your kids ... again.
As they grow older, they change, and your role as a parent changes as well.
Vacations are the perfect time to watch and listen to your grown children. In doing so, you'll relearn your parenting roles and what they need from you.
Happy Vacationing!
PS - we have more tips on how to vacation like a pro. Check out our Top Three Tips here.